I'm a Runner.

It's taken me a long time to actually be able to call myself a "runner". Even as I ran two half marathons, two 10K races and a handful of 5K races, I didn't really connect with the label. I felt it was something elite or above what I could achieve, just beyond my reach... I didn't dare call myself a "runner" cause that would mean I would have to maintain the title in some way and that felt like a burden and far too big a challenge. I was intimidated.

The best I could do was call myself a "slow runner" or a "mother runner" as though I needed a pre-qualifier to the label/title. I realize now this falls into one of the lies I told myself.

It wasn't until I started running again this season (cause I'm a fair weather runner; I no longer run outdoors in the winter) and I was sharing my progress with my partner when I realized that I've been using the Nike Run Club app for over a decade.

My first run on the Nike Run Club app was from September 2009. This blew my mind!

You can see how slow I ran back then, but we all have to start somewhere. There were no entries for 2010 which makes sense cause I was pregnant with my second baby.

Then in June 2011, I had my first outdoor run with the app and logged 5.19 KM. I know by this time, I had committed to running my first 10K race as motivation to lose my pregnancy weight (I am not a good pregnancy weight person - damn Heidi Klum and her unrealistic pregnancy abilities! - and I gained over 60 lbs.).

I had my first good outdoor run and ran just over 6 KM that same month. I still remember how much fun that run was! It was the first run where everything was working for me: I wasn't struggling to breathe, my muscles weren't cramping on me, my feet just kept moving, and the sun was out! Exhilarating!

I was hooked! I was able to run and quiet my mind. It became my form of meditation. If I had chaos on the brain, I would go pound it out on the pavement, and get clear. It was never about speed for me, it's always been more about going the distance. To just keep moving. There's a sense of freedom to it too that just feeds me.

I took a hiatus from running from June 2017 to September 2018 due to an injury. I wasn't sure I would ever run again as my knees were bad. Thanks to a really great sports therapist and some physiotherapy, I did the strength exercises and improved my hips which addressed the knee issues I was suffering, and I returned to running.

So here we are, over a decade later from that first run log, and I have now logged 351 runs and I have ran over 2,100 kilometres.

It took all of this for me to be able to now call myself a runner. It still doesn't totally feel right to define myself as such, but I know I have done the work, and acquired some insight and potentially/hopefully some wisdom as to what it means to be a runner... cause I am one.