Work-Life Balance: the Ultimate Urban Myth

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I don't remember when I first became aware of the term Work-Life Balance, but for over the past 10 years it has been a dominant part of the dialogue for working professionals. Many articles espouse the multitude of ways in which you can be successful and achieve it.

I learned pretty early on in my career that it wasn't something I wanted to chase. Certainly I wanted to live a certain lifestyle, but Work-Life Balance seemed ever-elusive. Everyone's always chasing it and nobody ever has it. Does it actually really exist? How did we start believing this urban myth? For someone to claim they have Work-Life Balance evokes a weird reaction... disbelief or possibly an eye-roll. Not to be cynical, but it just never seemed right to want it.

I also didn't like the idea that if you didn't have Work-Life Balance that you were at a loss, that you were less than, or that you were in someway a failure. To not have it meant I was off balance. This perspective didn't work for me.

As a working Mom, the best I could achieve was Fit. I found a way to Fit it all in. Some days, I was able to Fit in some time for myself. Other days, I couldn't Fit that into the day (whatever that was). I couldn't have Work-Life Balance (as that implies I have everything all at once), but with Fit I could have somethings sometimes, and other things at other times. Fit for a while seemed to be a better term for everything I wanted to achieve with my days and the quality of life that I wanted to live.

Then my perspective shifted to the acceptance that I have a Max Capacity. I have a Max Capacity for what I can achieve in a day. A Max Capacity for my energy today. A Max Capacity for other people each day. A Max Capacity for productive output. And a Max Capacity for what I can take in every day.

This radical acceptance that I had a limit was not easy, but it evolved over many years. Understanding that I have a Max Capacity helps me be selective on what I focus my energy on and what I can actually achieve.

Max Capacity is also a paradigm shift as it's no longer about perception of Work-Life Balance, or about having to Fit it all in, but more about having a finite amount of energy and time, and to be selective (even critical) about what is my best use of energy and time each and every day. The shift in focus changed from the external constraints and demands, to being more on me as the energy source. And to ration or expend my energy as I need.

It's still a work in progress for me (as I am still a work in progress) cause I know I still have some blind spots to my thresholds for giving out energy (specifically to those I love) and I know I do this to a fault where I am depleted (more to ponder there for another post), but being aware of my Max Capacity is incredibly powerful in perspective setting. And I at least know to re-invest in myself, spend my time in self-care, to rejuvenate my energy. That to me is how to achieve Balance. And Balance has been redefined for me to not even include Work or Life in its definition.